Mastery and Mystery
LYNDI LEE MARKUS Train – Develop – Care | Editor-in-Chief for Upfront To relinquish mastery is to relinquish control. Am I the only one challenged by the thought that my…
ROY ROSALES AUBERT
The Navigators | Aguascalientes, Mexico
For years, I wanted to have a “real” devotional time—one that was neither born out of guilt nor rushed and squeezed in between breakfast and the day’s first meeting. But my busy life didn’t allow for that. So I tried quick fixes: Bible apps, five-minute devotionals, daily verses. They helped a little, but it was like eating snacks when you’re hungry. You fill your stomach for a moment, but you’re not receiving real nutrients. And deep down, I knew it. So, I changed my prayer for several more years: “God, give me a real hunger for you.” During the pandemic, I began working from home. With that came something unexpected: quieter mornings, so I started being consistent. I read my Bible, I prayed, I did things “right.” But it still felt mechanical, like just another task to check off the list.
Time passed, and one day I received an invitation from Jodi to join a small group exploring different ways to spend time with God like contemplative silence, lectio divina, things I had never tried before. That’s when everything changed. I discovered something liberating: there’s no one-size-fits-all formula. How we connect with God isn’t found in an instruction manual. I realized what my soul needed: silence, deep listening, unhurried reflection, to talk less, to listen more. That was the missing ingredient.
Today, my devotional time isn’t perfect. I’m rushed on some days and only have a few minutes available. On other days, I sit in silence and don’t “feel” anything special. But I no longer carry guilt about that. Now I live with gratitude, because something has changed in me. My time with God has stopped being a religious checkbox. It has become a quiet, intimate space between Him and me, where I talk, but I also listen; where I bring my doubts without fear; where I feel comfortable; where I am loved. It’s no longer a routine. It’s a relationship. And that has changed everything.
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