Just Be: A Letter on Prayer to a Younger Me

Lyndi Markus

Editor-in-Chief for UpFront

Dear younger me,

You’re newish to praying—

a little green, a little naive, 

but so expectant—

and I can still feel 

You put so much pressure on yourself to do it right. 

You pray for protection—

you thank God for good days. 

You ask God to save loved ones who don’t believe yet.

You repeat the name of Jesus against your bad dreams

late at night.

You ask for healing.

When it doesn’t feel like God answers, it is probably your

fault–

your prayer life isn’t disciplined. 

Morning quiet times don’t work for you. 

Your language doesn’t include the words that Jesus will

hear. 

You repent of your inadequacies.

I wish I knew when I was you—

just being with Jesus is enough.

Things will change when you let go 

of all your expectations for perfect prayer.

You can focus on the conversation, the rhythm, the rest.

You’ll find many right ways to pray, younger me— 

the tried-and-true words of Jesus, tools others have tried and

made true 

communally, alone, in silence, in music, in motion, in warfare, in

a labyrinth

borrowing others’ words when their desperation may mirror your own.

I think… I hope… I pray we need it all.

I wish I’d known to ask when I was you—

“What might Jesus say?”

sitting next to you, sipping a coffee, telling some sly joke

your conversation with Him so unique, so different from every other conversation

He’s had today. Jesus loves that about you. 

So just…be. It’s enough.

Love,

Yourself, Just Older 

Picture of Lyndi Lee Markus

Lyndi Lee Markus

Lyndi Lee Markus is a writer and editor, spiritual director, bicyclist, and foodie who has worked with The Navigators in Colorado Springs since 2016. She pursues her passion for wholehearted, inside-out living through work with TDC, worship leading, intuitive eating, contemplative spirituality, and the search for the perfect croissant. Lyndi is the Editor-in-Chief for UpFront.
Lyndi Lee Markus is a writer and editor, spiritual director, bicyclist, and foodie who has worked with The Navigators in Colorado Springs since 2016. She pursues her passion for wholehearted, inside-out living through work with TDC, worship leading, intuitive eating, contemplative spirituality, and the search for the perfect croissant. Lyndi is the Editor-in-Chief for UpFront.

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