Transitions can be hard, especially those that aren’t expected. But even for the ones we long for, there are still lessons to learn, emotions to sort out and most of all, places where we can meet with the Lord.
I had always wanted to be married. In my mid 20s, friends were getting married, engaged or at least dating and I was still single. So when the Lord finally brought my husband and I together, I could see the beauty and His perfect timing in all the details of our love story. We already knew each other, dated for a year and then got engaged. We had a little over 6 months before we tied the knot and that’s the season I wanted to share about.
As you may imagine, during this season I was mostly excited, sometimes overwhelmed and definitely grateful. But I don’t think I thought about how that season would affect those close to me. One of the girls I was discipling was happy for us both. But from the comments and jokes she made, it was also clear that anticipating this change (of me going from Ms to Mrs.) was actually pretty challenging for her. From her perspective, she felt like I was being ‘taken away’ and that our relationship would not be the same again. Being a person who deeply cares about others’ emotions, I found it tricky to navigate that space. I couldn’t tell her that nothing would change because that would be a lie but at the same time, I also didn’t want to make her feel worse. This situation though, reminded me that as exciting as it was that I was about to married, I also realized that I did have to acknowledge that other relationships would change. They would still be important but it wouldn’t be the same. And that is okay.
During that season, I also transitioned from Staff-in-Training to be a Navigator Representative. It was also a highly celebratory time and I felt very supported by the community around me. Wait, I haven’t yet mentioned how my ‘freshman’ class (the class that I had been with since I started staff) were finally seniors and were graduating too. In a very special way, they had actually seen me from a single gal to dating (and interrogating Bennett) to being engaged. I won’t go into all that I’d seen my students go through. But you get the picture! The thought of stepping back on to campus that fall without their class being around brought me sadness. My closest student friends would not be there. Even for those staying in town, it wasn’t going to be the same. More and more I realized that season that for all the things I was rejoicing about, there was also places to lament. The Lord invited me to step into those places and He met me there. I learned some valuable lessons that season. There is room for joy and grief, so much of life is learning how to hold those together. I tried to make the most of the time I had with my students and as we were able to be honest with each other about how change was impacting us, it actually brought us closer. It’s been almost 5 years since and only a few relationships have grown and stayed intact. But that’s also part of life and I am grateful for His faithfulness even in all the changes.
