Emotional Intelligence

Building Below the Waterline

When surveying the landscape and mining the data around what is happening to people in positions of mission and ministry leadership, several trends become apparent. Among them are:  While social science research gives us a laundry list of heed-worthy reasons why there is such a crisis in leadership happening today,

Black and White to Color: Rewiring My Brain for Intimacy 

“I just wish you could connect with me better, and relate to me at a deeper level,” my wife said. It didn’t sound mad this time—but it was with heartbreaking sadness. After decades of marriage, we were once again having this weighty conversation. My dismissive attachment style wanted to run

The Beauty of the Gospel in the Matters of the Heart

We see evidence all throughout Scripture that Jesus was deeply concerned with the matters of the heart. When we take a look at the life and ministry of Christ, we discover a man who saw people in their circumstances—stepping not only into their physical realities, but also their spiritual ones. 

Riding the Waves of Transition

Transitions can be hard, especially those that aren’t expected. But even for the ones we long for, there are still lessons to learn, emotions to sort out and most of all, places where we can meet with the Lord.   I had always wanted to be married. In my mid 20s,

An Empty Place

With our belongings loaded onto a ship for the journey back to the U.S., I find myself sitting among the dust bunnies on the floor of our vacant Tokyo home, pondering the significance of the past 24 beautiful and complicated years.  The farewells are over, our missionary roles are finished,

Transitions and Thresholds

As soon as you hear the word transition or change, I’m sure a range of images, experiences, life stages, and emotions occur. As they signal the end of one thing and the beginning of something else, transitions also include a threshold: the “space between” that incorporates the ending of the

Don’t Question the Expert

For as far back as I can recall, being right has been important to me. You might say it has formed a significant part of my identity. I can remember being 10 or 11 and showing a friend how to pop popcorn (in those long-ago days before air poppers and

Embracing Gray Spaces

“Did you know you have permission to be wrong?” my friend asked me gently. I was in the middle of a discernment process, and heaven seemed silent while anxiety tightened its viselike grip around my stomach, propelling me into a constant and gut-wrenching cycle of second-guessing. I grew up cultivating

Position Mixtapes

How do we know what we know? How do we determine our position, or what we believe, on various issues? We all combine different sources of knowledge in different ways, resulting in a highly personalized position mixtape. The four sources of knowledge are Scripture, personal experience, reason, and tradition. How

Gentle and Right

“Why do you want to do this now?” my business partner asked. “it’s not the right time.” I sulked for a moment, then retaliated. “I’ve been doing most of the work all on my own for the past month. What does it matter to you when we decide to do