A tool for keeping verbal communication “crisp” for deep impact.
by Mark Rood
The Problem: Over-Talking and Its Impact
Many leaders feel the need to assert themselves, resulting in excessive talking and sometimes making others feel like you’re “sucking all the oxygen out of the room.” This tendency can:
- Cause people to check out when you begin talking.
- Prevent others from contributing their ideas.
- Hinder the development and engagement of team members.
Exercise: Play Fewer Chips
Liz Wiseman, in her book “Multipliers,” describes “always-on” over-communicative leaders as accidental diminishers. While assertiveness is valuable, it can have a dark side when it leads to dominating conversations and diminishing others’ contributions. To combat this, Wiseman recommends this exercise:
Give yourself a budget of poker chips for a meeting. Consider how many people are in the meeting and limit your talking time accordingly. Train yourself by starting conservatively by giving yourself only one chip of each color. Each chip represents an amount of speaking time:
- Blue Chip: 45 seconds
- Red Chip: 30 seconds
- White Chip: 15 seconds
During the Meeting: Use your chips wisely. Once all chips are used, focus on asking open ended questions, listening, prayer, and encouraging others to speak. You’ll quickly become more selective with your words and add more weight to what you choose to share.
Practical Tip: Keep a set of poker chips in your pocket or at your desk as a physical reminder to manage your speaking time. This simple tool can help reinforce the habit of speaking less and listening more.
Reflection: After the Meeting
Reflection drives self awareness, dependance on God and transformation. Consider:
- What drives you to overtalk? Is it a need to assert control, a fear of being overlooked, or something else?
- Did you notice any changes in yourself when you spoke less? What might God be saying to you?
- How did others respond when given more opportunities to speak?
Watch Others Rise
As you speak less and practice crisp communication, rejoice as others grow with more opportunities to be in the spotlight. Notice how your carefully selected words have a deeper impact, and how credibility and trust among team members rise, fostering a more collaborative and empowered team.
